In the spring and summer months, I often see announcements for garden tours. I’ve never taken one and never will. I avoid anything that makes me envious of beauty that I am woefully unable to create.

If you are an avid gardener, you might say, “Just buy some books and follow directions.” Thank you, but no. I also avoid any labor that requires being outside for longer than 15 minutes at a time.

In my walks around Fort Bragg with my 14.5-year old dog Wilson, the blooming Sidewalk Crack Gardens have recently caught my eye. I’m certain I could be successful at this gardening technique which appears to involve little more effort than neglect.

Fort Bragg Sidewalk Crack Garden Tours are self guided. Start anywhere two blocks east or two blocks west of Main Street. Walk north or south. Whenever you feel like it, take a left or a right. (You might want to add a shimmy or shake to your step to get in a little aerobic exercise.)

At every intersection, step forward off the curb and immediately step backward onto the curb. Put your hands over your head and shake them as you turn yourself around. Shout: “Woo! Woo!”

If you manage to avoid arrest after an hour, go home and stretch for at least 10 minutes.