Purity Pairings

I bought these Organic & Artisan-Baked Doctor Krackers today because:

(a) They are on sale;

(b) They are an example of the many hidden treasures to be found at The Purity; and

(c) They look healthy.

At home, I opened the package and popped one in my mouth. My assessment:

(1) Hay probably has a similar flavor profile.

(2) It is a food that falls into the acquired taste category.

I paired the crackers with homemade tomato soup. My assessment: after eating a cracker, a spoonful of soup somewhat neutralizes the hay aftertaste, making it more—yet still not quite—palatable.

I imagine these crackers might be best appreciated by paring them with Taaka Vodka (kept, for anti-theft or fire prevention code purposes, behind the counter at The Purity).

Follow these instructions and tell me how it works out:

(1) Take a large slug of Taaka.

(2) While your tongue is burning, put a cracker in your mouth and start chewing.

(3) Quickly—very quickly—wash the cracker down with another shot of Taaka.

(4) Guzzle the remaining Taaka.

(5) Lay down on the sofa, place the open cracker container on your belly, and turn the TV to any channel (it won’t matter because you won’t remember what you watched). Enjoy the healthful benefits of eating this snack while your taste buds are impaired.

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5 thoughts on “Purity Pairings

  1. K. – – just read your tweet and rushed over here; this is hilarious, I -love- it.
    It reminds me of my LEWD friends, low end wine drinkers.
    One reviewer of Taaka said: “As soon as the liquid hit my throat, I knew was in trouble. As the liquid moved over my tongue, I could feel it singe each and every one of my taste buds. I swallowed it pretty quick so I thought I was ok, however this vodka seems to burn even more AFTER the shot.”
    Fabulous line toward the end of the piece: “turn the TV to any channel (it won’t matter because you won’t remember what you watched)” Fabulous.

  2. Thanks Doug. Makes me feel good to hear people laugh.
    For a fun Taaka Vodka gift idea, see my July 25 post: The Best Gift Ever for Under $10 . (The company sent me a t-shirt after I alerted them to this post. I wear it proudly.)

  3. Ugh. Can’t type today. It was supposed to read “Thanks for taking one for the team.” Clearly I have had some Taaka Vodka this morning.

    • HA Meg!!! Gotta slow down on those spiked Mommy Juice Box drinks!
      Actually, I have to admit that I persevered through the entire container of krackers and my acquired taste assessment came true. I started to like them!

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