Dewey Turner

deweyheadDewey Turner considers himself a positive person. If you’re fortunate to spend time with him you’ll agree with that assessment. There’s a twinkle to his eyes that gives away his friendliness, a quickness to his wit that gets you laughing. He possesses a tender heart and a deep love of family.

Nineteen years after graduating from Fort Bragg High School, Dewey is living the life he always dreamed. He’s married with two daughters (ages three and thirteen), living in a house he bought a few blocks from his alma mater. He’s the operations manager of FloBeds, a custom mattress business started by his father 47 years ago. For the first time ever he feels balanced, content and happy.

***

Dewey arrived with his family from the Bay Area to start sixth grade at Fort Bragg Middle School in 1993. According to him, “I adjusted quickly and made new friends. It helped that I played basketball, which gave me an instant identity.” In high school, he became a star player and his outgoing nature made him the life of the party. He reveled in being a big fish in a small pond.

“I loved growing up here. The teachers and community were supportive and caring. Life was good.”

After graduating in 1999, he went to Sonoma State where he planned to major in kinesiology. He didn’t like the courses and changed his major to communications and radio broadcasting.

“I was blown away by living away from home. I felt free to do anything I wanted. I made a lot of friends. If you lived on campus, you knew Dewey Turner. If you asked the professors about a student named Dewey Turner, they never heard of him.” He laughed. “After a year in the dorms, my partying lifestyle made me ineligible to live in student housing. During my first year off campus, I got into some trouble and had a wakeup call.”

This caused him to realize his purpose for being in college was to get an education, not to party. He began to focus on school and made the Dean’s List.

He also tried out for the basketball team. He hadn’t played for nearly two years—since his high school season ended. “I made the cut from 40 guys to 30 to 20. In the end, 15 got on the team. I was number 16.” He was asked to redshirt, meaning he’d spend the season on the bench.  “After that, I quit. I didn’t want to play at all.”

With the loss of his basketball identity, he returned to his carousing and mediocre student ways. However, he did become the sports editor for the college newspaper and started a radio show—“Hip Hop & Jock Radio.”

Like many people I’ve interviewed, Dewey returned to Fort Bragg after college to figure out his next move. “In 2003 I started work in the manufacturing and shipping departments at FloBeds. I was also the host of the Giants’ games for KMFB.

“I was coasting through life spending too much time partying. After a couple years my dad had a serious sit down with me. He asked me to think about what I wanted and where I was going. I made a complete 180 and dedicated myself to the family business.”

He continued to search for an identity. “I was white-knuckling it, trying to use the tool belt I’d gathered from my experiences to help me make good decisions, yet I was floundering. In an effort to find something to feed my need to be competitive, I played city rec league basketball, but that only got me through the winters. In 2007, I finally found what I was looking for in golf.

deweygolf“I was horrible at it, but figured if I practiced enough I’d get good.” He played five nights a week until dark and most weekends. He joined a golf tour and entered tournaments around Northern California. In 2012, he qualified for the national championship tournament at TPC Sawgrass in Florida and came in eighth among 150 entrants. That same year, he earned the title of Sacramento Player of the Year. In 2013 and again in 2017, he won the Little River Inn Golf Club Championship.

Dewey became the Operations Manager of FloBeds in 2009. Work and golf kept him busy, but his life felt unbalanced. “I always wanted a family and in September 2012 I met a wonderful woman—Jamie Fales. We fell in love and moved in together. She and her daughter Ali changed me. I realized I needed to be needed. The pieces of my life came together. I finally had what I’d wanted for so long.”

deweyjamieDewey and Jamie’s first date included Ali. They went to Mackerricher State Park beach and Jenny’s Giant Burger. “I knew I wanted them in my life forever. Ali and I have a special relationship. She’s truly my first daughter.”

Dewey’s life became more complete with the birth of his and Jamie’s daughter Mackenzie on Thanksgiving Day 2014. “That moment changed my life,” he said with a hand to his heart. “I have two daughters. I’m a dad now and that’s all that matters.”

After the birth of Mackenzie, he slowed down on golf. “I’m a weekend warrior now, also playing a couple times a week during the spring and summer. Jamie and I are a team and allow each other the ability to pursue activities we’re passionate about.

“The Christmas after Mackenzie was born, Jamie got a Fitbit. This encouraged her to start working out. She eventually attended Bethany Brewer’s morning boot camps. Before long she was competing in triathlons and Spartan races. She placed third in the recent 70.4-mile Long Beach Bayshore Triathlon.”

In the meantime, Dewey became the assistant Fort Bragg High School boys’ varsity basketball coach. “I’ve also continued to play rec league basketball alongside my mentor Tim Anderson. Our team, sponsored by FloBeds, has won the last three men’s league titles.”

deweydaveDewey loves Fort Bragg and the life he’s built since his return. “It seems our town needs to find its identity over and over again. So much of our future depends on how the mill site is developed. We need to keep opening our minds to change.”

He appreciates learning the business from his dad. “We’re always trying to innovate in order to maintain our success. Our slogan is ‘Every body’s built differently, their mattress should be too.’ Most of our business is done online and it’s a challenge to constantly figure out how to grow that presence.”

Dewey defines himself as a family man first. He is raising his girls to reach their full potential. Second is his work with FloBeds. “My family and our employees’ families depend on this, and I aim to carry on my father’s legacy. I’m proud to be his right hand, taking over his life’s work.” Then he lists basketball coaching and last being a golfer/basketball player—two things which a short time ago held higher priority on this list.

Thank you Dewey for returning home and adding to the rich texture of our coastal community.

deweyfamily

 

Advertisements

Bethany Brewer

bethany8Like all Warrior Princesses, Bethany came from humble beginnings. Growing up, she had little supervision, which allowed her to roam free, picking up habits hardly recommended for a child. As a teenager, she delved into a world of drug and alcohol abuse. On the outside, she was a swaggering party girl. On the inside, her soul was dying.

***

bethany7By the time she was a freshman in high school, she was plagued by a sense that she didn’t fit into this life. She left home, lived with a revolving door of friends, and only went to school a couple of hours a day. In her sophomore year, she transferred to Mendocino, hoping to do better.

She continued to fail.

“Teachers tried, but nobody knew what to do with me. By my senior year, I was told I wasn’t going to graduate unless I hustled. I went to Noyo High from eight to noon, took a journalism class at Fort Bragg High in the afternoon, and went to the adult school at night. I was able to graduate with my age group in 1998.”

bethany9Bethany immediately moved to Medford, Oregon to care for her ailing father and grandparents. “My dad died in October, my grandpa three weeks later, and my grandma in February. They were the last of my family on that side.” Those losses were devastating. She dealt with her grief in the only way she knew—using her inheritance to douse her feelings with alcohol, drugs and cavort with people who mooched off her.

Broke by 21, she returned to Fort Bragg and worked at Laurel Deli. By 24, she was married and moved to Yuma, Arizona. “I was a bartender at an Indian Casino and loved it. I learned how to stand up for and defend myself.” The marriage was tumultuous and broke up after four years. “I lived alone for the first time in my life. I really liked being independent and having responsibilities.”

bethany6In 2010, she learned her maternal grandmother had dementia. Bethany moved back to Fort Bragg to help care for her, and worked again at Laurel Deli. “I continued to party and be irresponsible. I eventually left Grandma’s house and isolated myself from my family. At one point, I lived in my truck for three months. I felt like I had a big hole”—she makes a circle with the fingers of both hands and places it over her heart—“that I tried to fill up with drugs, alcohol, and violence.”

Bethany’s mother had moved to Willits and encouraged her to live with her. “On November 3, 2012, I started detoxing on her couch. I was really sick, but managed to go to a twelve-step meeting every day. Everything seemed less, less, less. Little did I know my life would change to more, more, more.”

bethany5Two weeks later, her friend Amie McGee encouraged her to apply for work at the Mendocino Sports Club. Bethany didn’t feel strong enough to hold a job, and was relieved when it took a month before she was invited for an interview. In January 2013, she moved back to Fort Bragg and started working at the club. A trainer approached her and said, “There’s an athlete inside you and if you want to see her, I’ll train you.”

She worked out with him six days a week for six months. The gym owner gave her a personal trainer’s manual and encouraged her to study for the certification exam. On November 2, 2013, she passed the test.

The Warrior Princess was born.bethany1

Two and a half years later, her business has grown from five clients to 140. She continues to study and receive certifications. “I love the process of learning.”

***

Bethany spends a few hours a week at Noyo High School “just chillin’” with the kids. “By the time kids get to Noyo, a lot of people have given up on them. I want them to know they can be there and be someone of worth.” She shares the story of her stormy teenage years, her recovery, and hands out gym passes. It was through this outreach that she met a teenager who would have a major impact on her life.

“She called one night [in February 2015] to say she’d been locked out of her house. I let her spend the night on my sofa. Before I knew it, I had bunkbeds with Ninja Turtle sheets in my spare bedroom. I became the mother of a 15-year old kid.” The girl had quietly struggled with her gender identity most of her life. “I know what’s it’s like to feel alone,” Bethany said. “When she told me she wanted to dress like a boy, I took her to a thrift shop and bought her clothes.”

kellenWith the support of Bethany, the staff at Noyo, and a tribe of fairy Godmothers, the girl continued her journey, embracing her male identity. Her grades improved and in the fall of 2015, she enrolled in Fort Bragg High. By this time, the girly clothes had been discarded and a masculine name chosen. Life was not without its challenges (imagine being a transgender teen in a small town) but he thrived academically and socially.

It was difficult for Bethany to be an instant mother and tough for the kid to refrain from being a mildly rebellious teen. In January 2016, he moved in with his girlfriend’s family. He and Bethany maintain a close, heartwarming bond.

***

Bethany2The hole that once scarred Bethany’s soul has healed. “I’m so lucky to wake up every morning and spend the day doing what I love. My goal is to help people realize their strength. It’s payback for all that’s been given to me.”

Bethany’s most recent project is training people to participate in Spartan Races. Some, like me, start out believing we aren’t capable of such physical demands. Over time, the Warrior Princess shakes that doubt out, turning it around until, before we know it, we’re crossing the finish line and accepting medals.

Thank you, Warrior Princess for your willingness to grab hold of life, seek challenges and share your experiences. The lives you touch are forever changed for the better.bethany4bethany11

No Complaints

bethany

Bethany the Fierce

As my trainer Bethany puts me through exercise paces at the gym, we chat about one of my favorite hobbies—complaining. For the past several months, she has made a conscious effort to avoid the activity. “Do you know how hard it is to not complain?” she asks. I can’t imagine. Like parasailing, hang gliding, and scrapbooking, I’ve never tried it.

I take this as a challenge and declare that if I can go the rest of the afternoon without complaining, I’ll reward myself with nachos from Los Gallitos (with extra guacamole). It’s two-thirty. If I eat dinner early, I’ll only have a few hours to endure.

When I get home and click the garage door opener, the door stays closed. For several months, the door has mocked me in this way—just haphazard enough to keep me from calling someone to repair it. “Son of a—“ I suddenly remember my vow. I force a smile, make a conscious effort to not grumble, and park the car outside.

I enter the house to find my husband Gary, who’s been presenting flu-like symptoms all morning, in his recliner. He asks if I’ll go to The Purity to get him Lipton’s Chicken Noodle Soup and some juice.

A whine starts in my brain and threatens to erupt into foot stomping. (Just so you don’t think I’m heartless, this would be my second trip to the store for him today.) My tantrum is quickly squelched by the memory of my pledge. I like going to The Purity. And I won’t have to mess with the garage door opener because the car is parked outside. I happily go to the store.

cat(7)The afternoon progresses swimmingly until the cat Little Mister appears, screeching at my office door.

Oh no. I’d forgotten about the demanding cat.

I think of Jesus and how He maintained serenity despite His many trials and tribulations. (Note to self: ask a theologian if there’s mention of a fat gray cat in the New Testament.)

During the past several weeks of our dog Lucy’s recovery from knee surgery, Little Mister has been sorely neglected. Instead of my usual annoyance (I have work to do!), I muster compassion and pet him as he rumples the paperwork on my desk. When he tries to climb onto the computer keyboard, instead of yelling, I gently pick him up and spend a solid five minutes settling him on the rug.

By this time, it’s three-thirty and I’m feeling quite pure of heart. I wonder if four o’clock is too early to eat dinner, but remember that’s the time for Lucy’s second rehab walk of the day.

CGCAfter countless obedience classes, Lucy and I are pretty adept at our walks. However, her limited outside time during her weeks of recovery makes each walk a challenge. The resident blue jay taunts her, the kitten who has taken over the field in the back needs to be chased, the cat poop buried under bushes must sniffed out and eaten.

She’s very strong and singularly focused when she wants her way. Given the fragility of her knee, I have to be careful not to pull on her. I must be ever vigilant to avoid distractions and coax her with treats. A twenty-minute walk is exhausting. (Or I should say was exhausting until I stopped the habit of complaining.)

I take deep breaths and determine this will be the best walk ever. I evade the bird, kitten, and cat poop pitfalls while carrying on a stream of light chatter—telling her she’s the best girl, so smart and wonderful. We pass a guy sitting in his truck. I say hello and he offers the kind of wary smile one gives a crazy person.

At four-thirty, I receive a text from the house sitter that she’s not available over Mother’s Day weekend. It will be the first Mother’s Day in three years I won’t spend with my kids in San Francisco. Part of me wants to cry and thrash about, but the new well-honed saintly part suggests I’ll find another way to celebrate Mother’s Day.

By five o’clock, I’m on the phone with Los Gallitos. At five-thirty, I’m sitting in front of Judge Judy scarfing down nachos. By six I’m stuffed with a feeling of wellbeing—a combination of yummy food and a successful three and a half hours of avoiding the traps of self-pity and martyrdom.

I must admit this was an enjoyable afternoon. I’m thankful to Bethany for bringing enlightenment. I might even try this non-complaining thing—and definitely those nachos—again soon.angel