The Do Not Do List

According to an article in the May 25, 2013 edition of The Ukiah Daily Journal, Fort Bragg police arrested a 29-year old man for allegedly having “a stolen TV, a club and methamphetamine in his vehicle.”

It seems that on May 21st, officers stopped a gentleman in the 500 block of North Main Street and discovered he was on probation out of Stanislaus County.

The TV in his possession had allegedly been stolen from the Best Western Motel and the serial number had been removed.HotelTV

The club in his possession was a “Billy club.”Billyclub

The meth in his possession weighed 12.1 grams and was packaged for alleged sale.Methpackets

He had “recently been released from Mendocino County Jail on theft-related charges” and “the condition of his release was that he obey all laws.”

I’m wondering what the term “obey all laws” means to this man. He certainly did not abstain from breaking the laws surrounding the following for which he has been charged:

(1) Possessing and transporting methamphetamine for sale.

(2) Selling methamphetamine.

(3) Possessing an illegal weapon.

(4) Receiving stolen property.

(5) Possessing property with serial numbers removed.

(6) Defrauding an innkeeper of $400 or more.

(7) Violating the terms of release on felony charges.

Clearly, the court system must make future conditions of release easier for this poor fellow to follow.

Upon his next exit from jail,  the above seven items should be typed out, labeled Do Not Do List, and handed to him.

If this list is added to each time he’s incarcerated, he may eventually become a law-abiding citizen.DSC02589

What’s on your Do Not Do List?

Turkish Apricot Scones

DSC02906What can you do with Woodstock Turkish Apricots besides enjoy their yummy taste and feel good about serving your body a healthful snack?

DSC02937You can put them in scones along with another product sold at The Purity: endangered species chocolate

Last week I became bored with my old scone recipe and searched for a sexy young idea to liven it up. I found it at  Smitten Kitchen (my favorite cooking blog)—a scone that incorporates pears and chocolate.

Chocolate! Can you imagine? I have lived a good long life believing that—outside of Cocoa-Puffs—chocolate was not to be ingested before noon.

Thank you Deb at Smitten Kitchen for giving me permission to add this forbidden ingredient to morning food and making an already good life even better.

Last Sunday morning while it was beautifully sunny here on the Mendocino Coast, I put together this recipe:

4 c. + 1 T. all-purpose flour (I substituted 1T. ground flaxseed for the 1T. flour)

2 T. sugar (plus more for sprinkling)

2T. baking powder

¾ lb. cold unsalted butter

2 t. salt

¾ c. diced dried Turkish Apricots

2 – 3-oz. bars endangered species dark chocolate with cacao nibs, cut into small chunks

4 large eggs

1 c. heavy cream

Okay, okay, I can hear some of you now. “Turkish Apricots are intended to be healthy. This recipe is a heart attack waiting to happen. It besmirches the name of Woodstock Foods and all of its affiliates. They will never send you a t-shirt after this.”

I’m taking your hand and gently patting it.

Now, now—you certainly wouldn’t make these scones every day. But today is an exception. Today I give you permission to love yourself enough to splurge on something warm and decadent, something that will bring you joy and make you happy to be alive. (Besides, Woodstock Foods has already put not one, but two t-shirts in the mail to me.)

Back to the recipe:

Heat oven to 400 degrees.

DSC02927Combine all dry ingredients.

DSC02928With a pastry knife, cut the cold butter into the flour until it resembles the size of little peas.(You are going to add all of that butter. Yes, you are.)

Stir in the diced apricots and chopped chocolate.

DSC02930Make a well in the center of the flour mixture and pour in the heavy cream. (Do not cheat yourself and try to substitute low fat milk.) Add the eggs and lightly mix the wet ingredients together before incorporating them into the flour mixture. Knead it for a bit to make sure it’s well mixed.

DSC02933Divide the dough into two equal portions. On separate baking sheets, pat each into a round about ¾-in. thick.

DSC02934Cut each round into eight triangles. Separate these triangles in the baking sheet. Sprinkle each liberally with sugar. (Calm down. A little extra sugar this morning is not going to hurt you.)

Bake for 20-25 minutes. (I bake both batches at the same time on separate racks, rotating them after 12 minutes.)

The minute you take the scones out of the oven, make yourself a latte, cup of coffee or tea. Enjoy the golden, rich goodness of these delectable pastries. Share with others or wait until they cool, wrap well and put in the freezer so you can warm one up to eat whenever you feel like it.

DSC02939Be happy.

 

Turkish Apricots

One of my readers recently wondered about my connection to The Purity Market. She asked, “Does your husband work there?”

I wish!

If you click the About tab above, you will learn that I write about The Purity because I absolutely love the store.

This past Sunday, I was scrambling around looking for pinto beans, when I happened upon this display:DSC02897Curious, I bought Turkish Apricots, brought them home, tossed the package into the garden, and took this lovely photo:DSC02906I then took them into the house, opened the package, and conducted a taste test. I liked them. They lack the tangy bite that I find distasteful in dried apricots.They’re yummy, kind of like a fig, but without the dense fig taste.

The company that makes these is called Woodstock and they are Proud Supporters of American Farmland Trust.

Their display at The Purity has some other intriguing items that I plan to try. DSC02899DSC02900DSC02901DSC02902

DSC02589Disclosure: I do not have any affiliation with Woodstock. However, when I featured Taaka Vodka last July, the company was so thrilled that they sent me a t-shirt. (I wonder what I’d look like in a Woodstock t-shirt?)

Why? Part II

Why does Lucy’s Laundry post this sign in the window? Why does it make me want to see what manner of wrath I could elicit from Lucy if I washed my clothes at home and took them there to dry?LucySignWhy does this car remind me of the cars I drove in my teens? CarWhy do I not own this fabulous purple car?Purple Car CroppedWhy does this gentleman post these messages on his truck?GreenTruck

Why are the following three people smiling for their booking photos?mugshot2 (2)mugshot (2)http---www.mendocinosheriff.com-newbooking-pdfs-September_05_2012.pdf - Adobe AcrobatWhy does this guy look like he also wonders why?mugshot3 (2)

Why does AT&T allow such an unsightly building to exist in one of the most beautiful places on earth? Why can’t they take some of the thousands of dollars I’ve paid them over the years and buy some paint? Why does this inspire me to unleash the wrath of Lucy on them?DSC02399

If you have answers to any of the above questions, please write them down and put them in the mailbox.

Why?

Why were these socks on this sidewalk for over a week?SocksWhy is this shop opening downtown?Oz1Okay, but why?Oz2Why is this the extent of their inventory?Oz3Why are they painting this mural on the wall?Oz5Why does this sign in their window do nothing to alleviate my confusion?Oz4Why would anyone make this or eat this? Why is it sold at The Purity? Why is it stamped on the back: BEST BY 11/2/13? Why do I feel like barfing when I look at it?PickledSausIf you have answers to any of the above questions, please write them down and put them in the mailbox.